The Good, the bad and the (downright) ugly!
Featuring "The Pigkeeper's Daughter" and "The Beach Girls"
The Cheese: (a.k.a. "the good")
(super amazing cheese this week!)
Seal Bay Triple Creme Brie
Red Leicester cheese
Irish Cheddar with Whiskey (crack cheese #2)
Etorki Sheep Milk cheese
Societe Bee Roquefort
Fig Infused Goat cheese
*drools*
...and now, The movies.....
The Pig Keeper's Daughter (1972)
No trailer available, kids...because well?? It was banned by YouTube for being nothing more than soft core porn. This movie was the "ugly" portion of the evening.....low budget to the max with the opening credits being hand painted by a sub-moronic redneck with a can of paint, some loose boards, and a bag of meth as payment. It was a catchy theme song, but once the actual movie started, Mo and I went from laughter to intense mortification in about 30 seconds. Bad, bad, BAD movie.
We gave up when a hillbilly started "nursing" our protagonist (insert shock smiley face)...and then watched our second film...
The Beach Girls (1982)
(The "bad" portion of the evening)
Hilariously bad Malibu beach romp by our friends over at Crown International....it stars 3 bimbos (one being Jeana Keough nee Tomasina of Real Housewives Of Orange County fame) and 2 other dumb broads....one the wholesome girl who goes bad (typical) Hey! let's throw some glasses on some tramp, and presto! She's wholesome! The other, a textbook blonde trollop....named Ginger....Jeana gets saddled with the unfortunate and never explained name of "Ducky".
Sarah, the wholesome one gets the keys to her Uncle Carl's (creeptastic dude that slobbers all over himself and teenage girls) swingin' beach pad for the summer...the other 2 bimbos feign friendship with her to have a beach pad to tear up for the summer.
They know no one nearby to have a party with so they (wait for it....) start calling delivery services!!!! About 700 people show up, tear that bitch UP and the willowy, frail hummingbird Sarah gets her granny panties in a bunch over it.
There's this bizarre subplot that has some drug dealers throwing Hefty bags of garbage overboard their boat. They are filled with "marijuana" that looks suspiciously like peat moss, but when the crazy kids discover it, they decide only one thing...
PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!
I could go on with the plot, but it's so cliche and predictable, that you could just fill in the blanks.
Eff the best quotes....
Best scene in the movie:
(starring the gardner vs. the chauffeur!)
LOL!! That was some funny shizz. See the white folk laugh at the silly minorities!!!! Just...wrong!!
Pig Keeper's Daughter? We seriously were contemplating a brain bleaching. It was just....um....NO. Not even for a laugh. If you absolutely must....it's on Netflix "Watch Instantly"....be sure to have a strong bottle of something-something on standby.......
Beach Girls? Meh....silly beach romp that does have some laughs, but never pretends to be anything other than what it is: Boobs, Bimbos, and the Beach.
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